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Watch and listen Allone - It is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward

Hey listen my friend, please don't do this, I appreciate that everything seems to be against you right now but believe me life is too previous!! We are only on this planet for a very short time in reality. You are loved and you have friends who will continue to support you. I could go into a lot of detail but believe me when I see you are not alone in your despair. When I went through my divorce I was at my lowest but I concentrated on our kids and their wellbeing and focused on them instead of my own issues. I recently lost my nephew through suicide and to see it is has a massive impact on our family would be an understatement, this is the first Christmas without him. Everyday there will be a reason to end it all but everyday there is a bigger reason to stay alive! We are with you, stay strong and get through this tough time. You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for and this is the last thing your wife would want if she was still here and you know it! Tomorrow is just another day my friend and there will be better and brighter days ahead, trust me,

Please DON'T DO IT Al1 So sorry to hear about the loss of your wife, and all the really shit things that happened to you both. I can understand how events have driven you to the depths of despair, but there has to be a better solution other than ending it all. I'm at a loss as to what to type. I've never met you but have had you help me out many times and for that I'm truly grateful. I'm getting emotional typing this and all I can do is reiterate. Please DON'T DO IT Al1

Very hard for me to make this post but given recent events I am being left with no option but to say goodbye for good and when i say good i mean permantly. I will go into some detail but not full as to be honest it will be too disgusting for most of you to read. When i was 7 i was raped many hundreds of time by a so called family friend and some of is sidekicks, apart from being orally and anally raped something even more sicking was urine and was used as part of their "Games" as they called it, i don't need to go any further than that i'm sure you can guess the rest, this has left me with shall we say "issues" when it comes to me taking a leak and having a poo, when i do this i NEED to take a shower to get rid of the smeel and make myself feel clean if for any reason i cannot have a shower i have a spray bottle with a 50/50 mixture of water and bleach, this get sprayed right onto my anus and around my penis and i have to make sure i get that bleach behind my foreskin to feel clean, I'm sure it must sound crazy to ever last one of you and yea it is crazy as it hurts like hell, I have not been able to shower the way i want to for about a month now and my penis is so red i could give Rudulf a run for his money. Now the problem is 4 years ago my Housing Assoc (Wandle Housing Assocation) [HA] sent one of their plumbers round and he said the both needed replacing, all i wanted from my HA was a bath that had the grippy dots going all along the bottom of the bath they refused and said they could not source one, so i spend about 90 seconds on Google and found a site that done a raft of them and would have done my wife and i fine, we did not want anything fancy, just the dots along the floor, the reason for this is i have some mobility issues and my grab rail is at the opposite end to the taps so it makes sence to have grip all the way along, so given funds are tight and we are in social housing sector we offered to make up the extra cost of the bath, they refused, we offered to pay for the whole bath, they refused, we then offered to pay for the whole bath and even pay for their staff costs, so it would have cost them nothing but they still refused, this had been going of for ages, over this period i have been writing to the Chief Executive of Wandle a woman by the name of Tracey Lees, after writing these letters i was going round the bend and considering doing some very unusal things, for example in Aug or Sept this year i had just had enough and walked out of my home got on bike and just left London, i just had to get away from this place, i sat on the slipway to a motorway and had the bike sitting on tickover and the helmet on the tank and sat their for about 30 minutes looking at a bridge thinking i should be able to get up to about 110, 120 before i hit the post but the one thing that stopped me was thinking that knowing my luck i'd end up breaking my back and being a Veggie so gave up with that and came home only to find plod waiting here for me, some 30 minutes of chat later they could not understand why the Chief Executive had not allowed the bath to be put in espicially as a neighbour has refit his own bathroom and Wandle know about it and have done nothing about it, so discrimnation is there, i had also by this stage taken to social media twitter handle is traceylees2 i think as i was left with no choich but to go via this route, you must understand i have made no threat to ANY member of staff, however she took to telling her staff that i had said in a tweet that i said i knew where she lived and was going to go round her house, if that was the case plod would be on my door and my wife and i would lose our home, however she sent 2 staff to our home and said i had to stop posting to her and stop making threat to go round to her place, these staff went back to the office (12 months ago) and filed a report on their visit, i got a copy of that report via Subjest Access Request and little did they know i had taped the whole visit on my phone and could not only poke holes in what they said in the report but i could smash it to bits and did so line by line and i sent it back to her asking for an explaination, however all i got was an injunction served on me on Monday with a power of arrest attched to it so already there is a black mark against my name and i object to that, i have a criminal record and have no issue with that being on the PNC but i do object to be proved in the courts eyes i had done something without even getting a chance to defent myself, oh on top of that the next day i got a £6,500 bill for their legal fees, they know i'm on the dole so have no chance of that. So i cannot take anymore, i will kill myself in the very near future, I have tried to conatct CAB but phones never get answered cannot go and stand for 2 hours to get in due to stroke and spinal issues, not point in writing i will be dead before they can answer me no legal aid and even when i offerd the 2k (Sue and I life saving) they say it's not enough to spend the time they would need to so our 2k would be gone in a couple of hours, I cannot even post to twitter or facebook myself as this would break the injunction so the idea of free speach is gone i have NEVER said anything that is not true, the only bad thing i said was she deserved a bullet in the head and to be honest with the both physical and mental pain she has put me and my wife through i feel a bullet would be too good and if there was a real dnager i was going to shoot her why have i not been raided by the firearms guys, cause she is in no danger from me. I have tried to kill myself before because of these people but got to 20th floor only to find out im scared of heights, it's like a bad comedy sketch, but i have found another way that is very quick and painless for me, so i have shared all this very private information as i will be around till at least 3rd Jan 2020 but after this date there will come a period of time where my name will not be up on here that reason will be because i'm dead, i am not lookin for sympathy or peeps saying what a great blah blah blah, not of that junk this is just a heads up so nobody will wonder where i have gone you will all know, i will be hopefully somewhere better. So why i have i picked the 3rd of Jan 2020, well that's simple......... I'm laying my wonderful wife to rest on the 2nd, yup all this f**king sh1t from my housing and they still want to hassle me when i'm trying to deal with the loss of my partner for the last 28 years who died in Kings College Hospital on the 14th Dec @ 16:50Hrs and these C***s won't leave me alone, £5,000 for a funeral that is one up from the most basic, £800 in flowers and they want £6.5k, i could just about cope with some help from my GP and support groups to cope with the loss of my wife in time, but not fighting my housing AND having a black mark against my name for no reason, i'm no pussy who can't live without a woman in his life, i am being forced into killing myself. Some my feel offended by what i say next but honestly i feel like a Jew in WW2 i'm being hounded to my death, The day before i do kill myself i will be sending all my evidence to various people who should have some power to look into this one copy will go special del and one go rec del just to make sure they get them, (royal mail and all that lot), it's just a shame i'm not allowed to post to her anymore but she will have some very tough questions to answer in the years to come and i hope that b1tch dies of cancer just like my wife did and one thing to add about my wife, she was raped as a child by her father as well and used to scrub her lady bits in the bath every night to feel clean but for the last 6 months of her life she was unable to have a bath as it was to dangerious for her due to it being so slippy so she had to strip wash for the last 6 months of her life. How inhuman can one woman be pure C u n t As i say im after nothing from anyone just want to explain 1) why i'm not online and 2) the reason for my death to you, I have made some great friends and i thank you all for making me welcome even though i suspect i p1ss some of you off but my parting advice to you all is, Hold you loved ones close, the pain of losing them is like something you will have never experienced before. Take Care everyone All1

If your going to do this (And I think you have made your mind up do hope you change it) I was going to suggest you do what you have put in your 2nd post plus if it were me I'd gut the bathroom and kitchen I'd do sinks the lot and dependending on the type of property your in even flooding it (If is will not affect your neighbors) the plan is to cost the Housing Assocation as much as possible try and get it to £6.5k plus what ever the security deposit was and remember to cancel any insurance you have on the property (As they will try to claim on it) And if you feel like it buy some spray paint (red is best) and spray her name from the Housing Assocation in big letters on every wall in the property.