Jump to content

Mammogram Preparation


Farquard

Recommended Posts

Mammogram Preparation

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for the week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in the privacy of your own home.

  • Exercise #1: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Repeat with the other breast. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
     
  • Exercise #2 Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Do this again in case the last time wasn't effective enough. Then repeat with the other breast.
     
  • Exercise #3 Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the concrete floor is just perfect. Take off all your warm clothes and lay comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until the breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.



CONGRATULATIONS! Now you are properly prepared for your mammogram.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

An older one, but a good one, Farquard.

 

I can't imagine because mostly.. I don't want to. Most men don't. We prefer to just take care of and fix stuff.

We will never know the pain involved with childbirth (yay) and nor will we ever know over and over again, the pain and humiliation of having our testicles squashed as you've described.

Boobs.. I meant to say boobs. Squashed boobs only.

 

"it's one of them wimmin's burdins what god has gave to them on ackount of theyr wimmins and he dosnt like them. Look in any holly book that's been writ and yool see that theyr wors than cows and gotes like god sees them."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...